| (no subject) |
[Oct. 10th, 2005|03:45 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | OUR LADY PEACE | ] |
i love taylor.
she is the best girl in the entire world.
i'm going to be drinking beer and hope she won't be mad.
but hey, it's like i always say, "it's 5 o'clock somewhere."
I JUST OPENED IT!!!
she is mad.
but we love eachother.
<3333333
life rules.
gaineville is my favorite place in the universe,
mainly just because of this suuper cool girl.
ok. it's almost halloween.
we are going to make pumpkins.
HIT ME UP IF YOU WANT TO COME TO GAINESVILLE.
-jake a. parker (most loved boy) |
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| stupid fucking jackass |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|01:14 am] |
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heroin? are you retarded? what the fuck is wrong with you dude? what a bad idea. what a dumb dumb dumb fuck thing to do. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2005|10:20 am] |
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im moving to gainesville in the fall |
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| fuck, im thinking too much again |
[Jun. 10th, 2005|12:24 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | ill tell you tomorrow | ] |
well....im 17
happy late birthday me.
about a week ago i fell off of gretas roof (2 stories)
ive been treading water for about 2 years now
i got cool stuff for my birthday
and a really awesome card
my dad gave me a cool card too
and money
and a four person tent
umm...bills mom made me kongo bars
taylors dad got me an ice cream cake
my mom got drunk and took my family and taylor out to dinner
then other stuff happened
the end |
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| ughhh.......fewrjfuiahju8husnjdfn |
[Jun. 1st, 2005|11:58 pm] |
so...
i have breast cancer/some kind of infection/some weird thing on the right side of my chest.
my pscho retarded mother quit her job and im not allowed to eat food untill i buy my own.
my room is semi-clean.
i turned in some job apps
my ged results should be here soon.
my birthday is in a week.
Dmo is in town.
my anti-biotics make me ultra depressed.
my sister is here.
i almost got arrested at this hotel party.
i have guitar strings.
i need two O's for 100 if anyone can help me out.
im sleeping more |
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| ps im bi-polar as all hell. |
[Apr. 29th, 2005|12:09 am] |
and another thing.
i like me
not in a conceited way
i just am a little happy with my morals
my standards
what i will tolerate
i have principals i will die for (or at least get my ass kicked over)
i need to stop smoking and drinking
particularly drinking. i know it, you know it, and anyone that knows me thinks so too.
im going to ask my mom if she will pay for a nicotine patch kit thing. the gum too. cigarettes aren't worth years off my life. its the only one i have.
you know how in one of my earlier posts i said "nothing can ever make me happy"
i was right. i have to be what makes me happy. its all from the inside. |
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| insomnia is god |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|03:08 am] |
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i think i might have schizophrenia...exactly what i need... |
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| a bunch of bullshit that you dont care about reading |
[Apr. 18th, 2005|10:41 pm] |
i am so tired of this retarded bullshit. all of this fucking drama is going to kill me...or force me to kill a few people myself. what ever happened to everyone just getting the fuck along. or at least being straightforward about stupid shit. however, im sure that would only create more drama...which is completely unnecessary...fuck. and you know what? the weed doesn't help. the beer doesn't help. more days go by and things get worse...and better...and stay the same.
america is so fucking plastic. its like, everything is based on money, which is really only pieces of paper that are only worth what the government says it is. and all your life you run around chasing paper, but in the end you end up dead anyway so why does it matter. you've got these corporations running the government, money running the corporations, people fueling the corporations that are running on money, and this facist american gornment controlling not only the money, but the people as well. its this pointless cycle of produce, consume, produce, consume, produce, consume. and its all about appearances. what these bussinesses are telling you to look like is so important that then your'e scared that maybe you don't look how they're saying you need to. so what do you do? buy more beauty products, nicer clothes, better shampoo. oh jesus fucking christ! I need a nice car or i wont get girls! how fucking tradgic. and everyone is so willingly throwing themselves off this cliff of fear. fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of fear, fear of being unique. look at these drugs they have now. you cant be depressed, you cant be hyper-active, you have to be what the american government wants you to be, uniform. fit into a mold of boring normality, not too happy, not too sad, never angry, 95 and still getting hard-ons. and what is going to happen when there is nowhere for anyone to live? its going to happen. with these advancements in modern medecine? ill let you guys in on something. HUMANS (JUST LIKE ANY OTHER ANIMAL) ARE SUPPOSED TO DIE! as awful as that sounds, it is the truth. everyone isn't going to be a rockstar, everyone isn't going to be a movie star. do you think that these 40 year olds working at wallmart planned that one out as a teenager? fuck no... fuck no.
fuck america, fuck the government, fuck me and you for falling for it again and again, fuck livejournal, fuck drugs, fuck sleep, fuck these corporations,fuck this lifelong act of preparation, and fuck you twice...
we all die anyway so why not live while you're still alive.
- some raging dick-head
(Jake) |
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| .....and....innocence......now.......go.....start...commence... Fuck |
[Mar. 26th, 2005|08:38 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | No Fucking Worries | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | the sounds of peices comming together | ] |
im going to have to start being myself again, its getting too hard for me to feel things with this mask on.
this means im going to start taking action, start doing things, going to shows, having friends, seeing movies, pick myself up and walk. this crawling bullshit is over. im getting a job, a ged, and a life.
im too good for this and i know it. all i needed was a break from people and ive had it. im not scared anymore.
ps. im going to try to return downtown to its former glory. anyone who wants to help....just start being there.
im going to go mow the lawn now.
i love you guys,
late |
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| sugar |
[Mar. 26th, 2005|06:27 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  bvghukbvytu | ] |
The kombucha mushroom people,
Sitting around all day,
Who can believe you,
Who can believe you,
Let your mother pray, (sugar)
Well I'm not there all the time you know
Some people, some people, some people,
Call it insane, yeah they call it insane, (sugar)
I play Russian roulette everyday, a man's sport,
With a bullet called life, yeah mama called life,(sugar)
You know that every time I try to go
Where I really want to be,
It's already where I am,
Cause I'm already there?.(sugar)
The kombucha mushroom people,
Sitting around all day,
Who can believe you,
Who can believe you,
Let your mother pray, (sugar)
I got a gun the other day from Sako,
It's cute, small, fits right in my pocket,
Yeah, right in my pocket, (sugar)
My girl, you know, she lashes out at me sometimes,
And I just fucking kick her, and then ooh baby, she's O.K.(sugar)
People are always chasing me down,
Trying to push my face to the ground,
Where all they really want to do,
Is suck out my mother fucking brains, my brains (sugar).
The kombucha mushroom people,
Sitting around all day,
Who can believe you,
Who can believe you,
Let your mother pray~,
I sit, in my desolate room, no lights, no music,
Just anger, I've killed everyone,
I'm away forever, but I'm feeling better,
How do I feel, What do I say,
Fuck you, it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
Fuck you, it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel, What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away. |
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| i just decided that im still drunk from last night |
[Mar. 18th, 2005|10:57 am] |
You Know You're Irish When.... |
The condensation on your pint of Guinness takes the shape of shamrocks
You don't believe there is a God, but you are damn sure of the infallibility of the Pope.
You believe that to forgive is divine, but you don't excercise it yourself.
You won't eat meat on Friday, but you'll drink a pint for breakfast.
You consider any Irishman who has become successful a traitor.
You have great respect for the truth, and you only use it in emergencies.
The further you get from Ireland, the more Irish you get.
You eat homefried taters for brakfast, potato bread for lunch, and potato stew for dinner.
You cry at sad movies, but you cheer in battle.
You will never play professional basketball.
You swear very well.
You think you sing very well.
There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.
You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.
You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.
Much of your food is boiled.
You are, or know someone, named "Murph." If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.
Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.
There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
You're proud to be Irish - and you pass these jokes on to all your Irish friends!
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 18th, 2005|07:39 am] |
im going to have to cut a few people from my life. dont worry, its not you livejournal. youre my best friend.
drinking doesnt make me happy like it used to. everyones like "Jake? Tired of drinking? i guess hell just froze over." i just need a break. from everything... i think for a week i wont leave my house. people can come visit me, i just wont leave.ya you know what? im starting tomorrow. |
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| fuck |
[Mar. 11th, 2005|09:39 am] |
last night i had a sad, hurtfull, depressing, angry, frustrating, honest conversation with an old friend who's opinion i used to value greatly. she was always someone besides the person i knew. she says ive changed though...for the worst. i think she may be right. the world has made me colder, less giving, harder, and less forgiving. im sorry. ive lost friends getting here and it wasnt worth it. i used to give myself to everyone. anyone who's done that before knows how bad that can make you feel... today she is coming over and kicking my ass. i gave her full permission to fuck me up as badly as she wants to. but its just her and me, and she doesnt get to use any weapons. i need something more than what i have. the person ive broken the most promises to is myself.
maybe it's always never
drink it away
let it come back tommorow
you'll find a way
in this shot sickness follows
maybe ill stay
and swallow your sorrow
swear i cant play
the promise was hollow
never today
and always tomorrow
wash it away
with the rains that dont follow
taste the decay
its easy to swallow
maybe someday
the truth i will borrow |
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| lazzaro |
[Mar. 10th, 2005|06:49 am] |
you say I need you
but how about the DEMONS in my head
I'm sure you don't miss them
cup my ears over and over when you speak
and I can't believe that you are here
I hate your eyes
it's been nice without you
and every word you say affecting me
keep your hands and your knees
because you'll need them later
you always smell the same
everything smells of you
I hate your eyes
you always smell the same
everything smells of you
you wanted it all
but now you can't see
what you adored in me
kill me again and again
so I can relive every moment with you
- poison the well |
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| the color white |
[Mar. 7th, 2005|12:28 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | tired of always feeling tired | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | none of your fucking bussiness | ] |
ive been sleeping more. this isnt because im a happier person. at least i have the smashing pumpkins to allow me to wallow in my own personal pit of sadness, regret, confusion, and depression.
ive got this feeling that if i tried to kill myself, the gun wouldn't fire, just do something cool like blow off my hand.
oh yeah? well ill solve my foot with a smile...straight up your ass.
i know everything will be ok. but living through these emotions doesn't get any easier no-matter how many times i do it.
my dads girlfriend is a fucking moron. her iq must be like 5...on a good day. im honestly surprised shes stayed alive as long as she has. most people that brain-dead usually die young. what an idiot. talking to her is like drilling a hole in your head...its not fun, its annoying, and her retarded thought process makes you feel stupider for being in the same room as her. fucking dumbass. what could my father possibly be thinking. perhaps she has already infected him with her dumbfuck disorder. in which case he isnt thinking at all.
she didnt deserve that verbal bashing, but its true and needed to be said. |
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| close to immortal |
[Mar. 4th, 2005|06:14 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | shaking | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | evergreen terractu.lirhbglorhnlo | ] |
if i had a sharp enough knife... |
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| sweetness |
[Mar. 4th, 2005|02:33 am] |
killing time by thinking of you. never understanding the swirling colors of red and even darker. stopping to pause time. in order to nevermind the entire situation i sink to my knees in pursuit of something better. im begging for nothing. understating the entire problem. lying to only me. behind all the jokes i am choking my throat. never think of me again. |
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